An amazing Priest...gone home to heaven...

After three months in the hospital battling double-pneumonia, 55 years of serving in the Priesthood, and 89 years of life... Father Edward Richardson passed away this past Saturday, April 26. I still can't quite believe it. I wasn't really close with my grandparents, but this is how I imagine people feel when really amazing and well-known grandparents pass away.

Father was a man who lived his vocation to the fullest. He was a great Priest. But that's not what I mean when I say he lived his vocation. Before all else, he was a great lover of God. That love is what overflowed into all of us who had the blessing to know Father.

This is what I've realized. It seemed like Father had everything together. He was everywhere and everyone knew him, but he was never stressed out or seemed like he was in a rush. He always had time to talk to anyone. Yet he was almost always on time or usually even early. It seemed like he was constantly giving of himself. Yet somehow he was never exhausted. Even when his body started to give up, he would keep going. When I saw him in the hospital two months ago, he insisted on giving me a blessing before I left and wanted to know all about how my family and I were doing. How could he give and give and not get stressed out or burn out? The longer he lived and the more the condition of his body deteriorated the more joyful he became. He didn't even start to have any kind of health problems until the last few years.

I think the key is that Father already did give himself away completely to the Lord. He was a completely dedicated lover of Christ. And does Christ ever turn away from us or get tired of us? No. Never. We do. But we just wear out if we don't spend time being personally filled up by the Lord. Anyway, Father did that. He stayed close to Christ at all costs. And I think that's why he could give of himself so simply and completely. He wasn't giving anything at all - he'd already given himself to the Lord. After that, it was merely a question of what God wanted him to do at the moment.

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:29-30

That's how Father did so much. He wasn't doing it - it was Christ. I think Father traded his yoke for the yoke of Christ a long, long time ago. We, the people who were blessed to know him, got to see Christ through him. Now I'm sure that we're even more blessed because he's in heaven, resting with the Lord, but I'm sure still asking God to shower down blessings on us.

What did we do to be so blessed to have Father at our little chapel for so long? I know he was there for at least 15-20 years...maybe more. They're expecting 3,000 to 5,000 people at the wake. That's only a fraction of the people that Father touched. And we, the little parish of Holy Family, were his pride and joy.

My brother got the news that Father had passed away via an e-mail on his phone. He was in the auto parts store at 8:30 p.m. on a Saturday night trying to get his car fixed so he could drive youth group kids on a field trip the next day. My sister was volunteering at a Christian concert. I was at a Young Fire Mass. It's fitting that that's what we were doing on the day he passed into eternal life. It's not luck that we're the way we are. It's the blessing of having grown up with the prayer and guidance of amazing people like Father. He had the most simple, straightforward faith. He just loved God and loved us. That was it. And Christ worked through him to touch so many people. Calmly, gently, and lovingly. Not hectically. Not on a stage, not with anything but humility. Just through Father being the loving man of God that he is.

I read through some passages in the New Testament on Saturday night. Everything Christ taught...Father embodied. He LIVED the gospel. He didn't just preach it on Sunday. It was humbling, but also encouraging. The happiest, most joyful man I know got to be that way by giving his life to the Lord and living the gospel. So why do we drag our feet to do it too?

Intellectually, I know that it's a beautiful thing that Father has finally gone home to rest. It's probably the first real vacation he's ever had. I have every confidence in the world that he is with the Lord. But emotionally...I don't quite have that peace yet. I can't imagine him not being here with us. I know it's selfish, and even unfounded because if I want to be selfish, I know that Father's probably praying for us that much more from heaven. It doesn't change the fact that I miss him. I know the best way to pay him tribute is to be a person of faith, hope, love, and charity. But right now, I don't know how to do much besides cry. I don't really want to talk about it. Not yet. I just feel utterly and completely exhausted. I feel crippled. Please pray for those of us here. Pray for the strength to be men and women of God who will make Father proud as he looks down to us from Heaven.

Thank you Lord for Father Richardson.

I'm dreaming of a white Regent....

My sleep schedule has been a bit off the past week. The last day or two I've really been struggling to get out of bed. This morning, in between my alarms going off, I had some crazy vivid dreams. In the first, I was traveling on a futuristic submarine-like vessel. I'm not sure if we were in the water or in space. The team was on an exploration mission. One person at a time would use a min-sub teathered to the main sub to explore beyond the sub. I didn't stay in REM sleep long enough to have a turn in the mini-sub, and I'm not really sure what we were looking for, but I FELT like I was there. When the sub dove, I felt weightless and floating...like that split second on a roller coaster, but for longer and without any restraints but the sub ceiling.

The next dream I had was about Regent. The whole place was covered in about half a foot of snow. I was driving over to go to the Comm building, but I didn't recognize anything. There was all of this new construction tacked on the side of buildings...like they were trying to make the campus look like a medival castle. I was so confused. I'd been on campus a week or two before, yet nothing looked the same. I don't know what was up with that dream, but I sledded down a parking lot on some random big bag and almost crashed into a few people. Again, it was just incredibly vivid. I felt like I was there and I felt frusterated that I didn't know where I was going or even why I was on campus.

It's been a long time since I've had dreams real enough that I couldn't quite distinquish them from reality at first. The rest of the time I was lying in bed I was very prayerful. I've really been hearing God a lot more than usual lately... I'm finally letting go of the past and my own plans and just listening to God. I'm sure I'll go through denial phases, but I'm trying....